We walked down, slowly and steadily towards the tea-shop where the seniors were smoking away to glory. 'Chimneys', I heard myself say in my mind.
We were scared but we tried to stay calm. Showing-off would be the greatest mistake in this situation, unless and until you have a big influence with some local guys or you are the son of some big guy. The objective was to stay calm, not look scared and not to show-off as well.
Anyways, we reached the spot. All the preparations of staying calm and not to show-off went down the drain as we just looked at the seniors straight in the eyes giving them a 'whats up guys' look. One of the guys retorted, 'Do not look into the eyes of your seniors. Look down towards your shoes.' We did as requested.
The next moment another guy asked,'Do you smoke?' We replied in unison,'No.'
Another senior said,'So you think we are fools to smoke?'
We replied in unison again,'No.'
The same guy asked,'So why dont you all smoke?'
I said, 'Because its injurious to health.' Damm I thought.. that was the most stupidest answer.
The senior growled back,'So you think we dont care about our health.'
I planned to stay quite. Silence is sometimes the best defence and it worked.
We were then asked a series of questions like where we stay and where do we actually hail from. What languages we speak. What is the name of our girlfriend and so on. We were allowed to go after about 25 mins. My neck had started paining looking at my shoes. I hated the feeling to look down like this. My friends cajoled me,'Dont worry buddy.. Next year we will be doing the same thing.'
Next Day in college:
We told about our ragging incident to some of our friends. I was flabbergasted on what I heard. One of my friends tried to resist the ragging and the seniors then asked him to strip and stand like a dog. The guy actually stripped to his undergarments and stood like a dog. When he tried resisting, he was slapped. He couldn't do much as the group of seniors was big.
Hearing this horrible incident, I went into a tristate for a minute. I was wondering what if I had been in that guys place !!!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Engineering days !!!
Engineering days were always fun. Infact, the first 6 months of my first year were the best days of my life. I dont think we (in all 4 guys) ever enjoyed so much. It was like we were set free after 18 years in prison.
We took a flat on rent and paid around 4000Rs a month for the place. It was a decent house with one door facing a non-stinky gutter and the other door facing a beautiful girls house. Yeah, it was kinda strange to leave the latter door open so we preferred the door facing the non-stinky gutter open always. Anyways, so we now had our own house and we could do whatever we want and felt like.
The typical boyish attitude and the typical freedom attitude started running through our veins. The starting days of the college was a pain. There was the fear of getting ragged by your seniors. And oh yes, it was pretty humiliating sometimes.
The first day of the college:
We somehow managed to drag ourselves from the bed. Everything was RUSH RUSH n RUSH post that. We ate, we prayed (so that no one catches us for the ragging session) and then we moved. We took some shortcuts as advised by the local people and reached the college in 10 mins, brisk walking was also a success factor. The first thing that I said when I saw the college was,' DAMM !! where the fuck have we landed?. Where is the freaking college?' We thought someone had cheated on us for the ragging session. What we saw was a row of 6 rooms excluding a room for the college principal. Out of the 6 rooms, one was occupied by 8 pigs and the other was occupied by approximately 7 goats who were merrily chewing on the green grass exclusively for them. Surprised !! Ask me about it.. hehe
Well, we missed our first class on the first day because of double-checks for the college address and 10-15 mins spent on the astonishing site of pigs and goats eating with students studying for engineering in the neighboring class. I have no clue what the government was upto !!
Anyways, returning back home wasnt very difficult as we bunked the last 2 lectures and came back home early before any of the seniors caught us. Actually, I was wondering where the seniors would be attending the lectures with the pigs and goats occupying 2 of the classrooms. I failed to understand the profit factor of the college here.
Caught and Ragged:
The second began smoothly. The incident happened while we were returning back from college. A group of third year engineering guys caught us trying to escape from our secret route. We were asked to come to a shop nearby. We had no choice but to walk down...
To be Continued....
We took a flat on rent and paid around 4000Rs a month for the place. It was a decent house with one door facing a non-stinky gutter and the other door facing a beautiful girls house. Yeah, it was kinda strange to leave the latter door open so we preferred the door facing the non-stinky gutter open always. Anyways, so we now had our own house and we could do whatever we want and felt like.
The typical boyish attitude and the typical freedom attitude started running through our veins. The starting days of the college was a pain. There was the fear of getting ragged by your seniors. And oh yes, it was pretty humiliating sometimes.
The first day of the college:
We somehow managed to drag ourselves from the bed. Everything was RUSH RUSH n RUSH post that. We ate, we prayed (so that no one catches us for the ragging session) and then we moved. We took some shortcuts as advised by the local people and reached the college in 10 mins, brisk walking was also a success factor. The first thing that I said when I saw the college was,' DAMM !! where the fuck have we landed?. Where is the freaking college?' We thought someone had cheated on us for the ragging session. What we saw was a row of 6 rooms excluding a room for the college principal. Out of the 6 rooms, one was occupied by 8 pigs and the other was occupied by approximately 7 goats who were merrily chewing on the green grass exclusively for them. Surprised !! Ask me about it.. hehe
Well, we missed our first class on the first day because of double-checks for the college address and 10-15 mins spent on the astonishing site of pigs and goats eating with students studying for engineering in the neighboring class. I have no clue what the government was upto !!
Anyways, returning back home wasnt very difficult as we bunked the last 2 lectures and came back home early before any of the seniors caught us. Actually, I was wondering where the seniors would be attending the lectures with the pigs and goats occupying 2 of the classrooms. I failed to understand the profit factor of the college here.
Caught and Ragged:
The second began smoothly. The incident happened while we were returning back from college. A group of third year engineering guys caught us trying to escape from our secret route. We were asked to come to a shop nearby. We had no choice but to walk down...
To be Continued....
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
First time !!!
I have always been a person who believed in himself. As a kid I was good in studies and managed to score a decent 70%-85% during my school days. But there were days when my mom used to pick up a cain and beat the hell out of me for not studying the way she wanted me too.
School days were never good as I was always treated as a nerd. People used to poke fun at me for being weak. But, I had good times too. I was in love with this pretty girl who used to always neatly partition her hair and never apply any make-up (actually some girls used to do that). She was very strong (mentally), smart, excellent communication skills and quite pretty. And for the strangest of reasons we became very good friends and developed a liking for each other. We used to spend a lot of time together during tuitions and after tuitions too.
Something went drastically wrong and my world fell apart. Suddenly I found her drifting away from me and from good friends we became hardly friends. It was particularly difficult for me to look into her eyes during our tuition hours. I was waiting for the day to get out of school. I never could tell her how much I loved her and wanted to be with her. And when I eventually told her (after 3 years of my school) I felt like a fool. She replied, ' i dont like boys.' And the most stupidest thought struck me,' Is she a freaking lesbian??'
But, I couldn't understand the true meaning of that statement which was she wanted me to be mature and not act like a small kid.
That was one of the most vulnerable moments of my life.... !!!
School days were never good as I was always treated as a nerd. People used to poke fun at me for being weak. But, I had good times too. I was in love with this pretty girl who used to always neatly partition her hair and never apply any make-up (actually some girls used to do that). She was very strong (mentally), smart, excellent communication skills and quite pretty. And for the strangest of reasons we became very good friends and developed a liking for each other. We used to spend a lot of time together during tuitions and after tuitions too.
Something went drastically wrong and my world fell apart. Suddenly I found her drifting away from me and from good friends we became hardly friends. It was particularly difficult for me to look into her eyes during our tuition hours. I was waiting for the day to get out of school. I never could tell her how much I loved her and wanted to be with her. And when I eventually told her (after 3 years of my school) I felt like a fool. She replied, ' i dont like boys.' And the most stupidest thought struck me,' Is she a freaking lesbian??'
But, I couldn't understand the true meaning of that statement which was she wanted me to be mature and not act like a small kid.
That was one of the most vulnerable moments of my life.... !!!
Sometimes !!!
Sometimes people act funny, sometimes I act funny. Sometimes we act as a jerk. Sometimes I feel that I am weak. Sometimes I feel that I am very strong. Sometimes I feel vulnerable and get scared. Sometimes its too dangerous out there. Sometimes the risk of losing everything makes us feel vulnerable, sometimes the risk of losing the person you love makes you vulnerable. Fear lies in the eye of the beholder, the fear makes everyone vulnerable to a variety of things.
I thought !!!
I have never felt this way in my life.
I thought I was strong, but I was wrong
I thought I cared, but I guess it wasnt enough
I thought I loved, but guess it suffocated you
I thought I can protect you in my arms, but I dont think I was strong enough
I thought I can give you happiness, but I hurt you
I thought I can bring a smile on your face, but I was the one who brought tears
I thought I was strong, but I was not strong enough
I thought I was strong, but I was wrong
I thought I cared, but I guess it wasnt enough
I thought I loved, but guess it suffocated you
I thought I can protect you in my arms, but I dont think I was strong enough
I thought I can give you happiness, but I hurt you
I thought I can bring a smile on your face, but I was the one who brought tears
I thought I was strong, but I was not strong enough
Thursday, June 5, 2008
The First cry !!!
This happens in every humans life. Everyone cries.
I cried too and it was right after the lady doctor slapped on my bum. :-)
But, this was not the last time... The journey had just begun. The journey began 28 years back.
This is my story. This is my space. This is about ME !!!
I cried too and it was right after the lady doctor slapped on my bum. :-)
But, this was not the last time... The journey had just begun. The journey began 28 years back.
This is my story. This is my space. This is about ME !!!
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